12 Common Mental Missteps

Cognitive-behavioral therapy involves the idea to change the way you think in order to change the way you feel. Generally our feelings are based on our thoughts about situations, people, and events. If these thoughts are based on irrational assumptions, our feelings will be irrational and make us upset over even the tiniest problem. But how do you know if your thoughts are irrational? Many irrational thoughts you might have about a situation can be based on one or more of the following faulty assumptions. These twelve assumptions are the basis for most irrational thoughts:

I don't like the way I feel, but I can't do anything about it and must just accept it as a fact that I will feel this way indefinitely.

My problems have been around so long that there's no way to fix them now.
When I'm having a problem, I should worry about it constantly.
Everyone should love and approve of me, and, if they don't, I must be completely horrible and unlovable.
I should always be competent, able, and successful in every situation, and, if I am not, I must be a complete failure.
When things don't go my way, I must deserve it, and I must get very upset about it.
Outside influences such as people, events, situations, and plain bad luck are responsible for my bad feelings. I have no control over these things, so I have to keep feeling my bad feelings until these outside influences change.
When people I'm close to have serious problems, it is only right that I get very upset about them, too.
I need a specific person to lean on because I can't do everything by myself.
People who are truly evil or bad must be punished severely, and, if they aren't, I have the right to demand that they are made to pay.
There is an answer for every problem and, if I don't find it, it will be awful.
It is easier to avoid thinking about a problem rather than take responsibility for correcting the situation.

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